her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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