hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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