Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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