I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
