omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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