I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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