I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He? As in you personified your dick?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
