I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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