He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Found the puke drawer
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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