he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
