I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
