I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just pee around me
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
