I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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