I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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