dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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