She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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