ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize