i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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