Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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