The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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