did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
