She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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