Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
