Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
