No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
