God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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