Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
