Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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