I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
vagina is talking i cant
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
