We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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