If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
