I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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