Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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