i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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