Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
