Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
