Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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