i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
