just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
