It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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