whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize