He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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