If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
