i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
