Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
