Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
