I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
