I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
