She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I didn't notice because vodka
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Randomize
