So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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