Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
