Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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