doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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