actually, I'm a sock model
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
