It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
