I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dicks are not precious.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
