break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
