oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
as a side note pls kill me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
