I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
