I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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