remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
