Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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